The reason for Pakistanis to quickly believe that popular actress Urwa hocane and singer Farhan Saeed separated has nothing to do with being sympathetic rather more to do with the perception that Pakistan is a hub of a dramatic sheepish culture system meaning anything that gets a bit of drama starts being thrown around on an astronomical level it also ends up circulating across all social media platforms. Rather than doing our research, we tend to believe outlets that are flying around baseless rumors and fake news. This has taken the trend everywhere. Good thing Makhdoom Chaudhary- urwas father has rebuffed the rumors. Chadhary said separation rumors of Urwa Hocane and Farhan Saeed are “baseless” and that his daughter and son-in-law are “living happily”.
But why did we believe it to be true well it has to do with a few things –
With Pakistani women getting a better education, freedom, and gaining more independence, it is allowing them to be more in control of their lives. And divorce is now something that Pakistani women who have no kind of dependency on a man, such as Urwa an actress who earns well on her own- will readily opt for this means willing to leave a life not working for them anymore. Which is the way it should be!
Communication in a Pakistani marriage is not seen as an important thing although it is improving, bottling up emotions, and pent-up anger is the way to go. Understanding that Bad communication or very little of it can impact the marriage in many negative ways. From not discussing concerns or clarifying each other’s meanings or not asking the right questions, the marriage can result in suspicion, mistrust, and arguments. Many times, it is the little things that can trigger bigger issues.
In a celebrity marriage cheating is quite common and then dismissing them as a ‘bad move’ or were just friends is now seen as a cover-up for boredom or these affairs which lets us know that believing a rumor like that is quite understandable.
Unfortunately, Pakistani marriages are influenced, supported, and inspired by family. But also, sadly, marriages are destroyed by family too. Especially, extended family is it quite easy to see a man being rattled by the mother if not the wife, striking a good balance is the key that most people fail to understand.
Sham marriages also take place in Pakistan this is where marriages are arranged between parties for a purpose other than to spend a life together. These include marrying another for money, marrying to stay in a foreign country, and marriages of convenience all of these are ephemeral goals which result in a bitter divorce.
In a country like ours, we need to understand how to better communicate and understand all parties so that a mutual decision could be reached.
Written By Miss. Noor Ul Huda
Pakistan Representative in Malaysia